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Tiny Beautiful Things
Cover of Tiny Beautiful Things
Tiny Beautiful Things
Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar
This bestselling book from the author of Wild collects the best of The Rumpus's Dear Sugar advice columns plus never-before-published pieces. Rich with humor, insight, compassion—and absolute honesty—this book is a balm for everything life throws our way.
Life can be hard: your lover cheats on you; you lose a family member; you can't pay the bills—and it can be great: you've had the hottest sex of your life; you get that plum job; you muster the courage to write your novel. Sugar—the once-anonymous online columnist at The Rumpus, now revealed as Cheryl Strayed, author of the bestselling memoir Wild—is the person thousands turn to for advice.
This bestselling book from the author of Wild collects the best of The Rumpus's Dear Sugar advice columns plus never-before-published pieces. Rich with humor, insight, compassion—and absolute honesty—this book is a balm for everything life throws our way.
Life can be hard: your lover cheats on you; you lose a family member; you can't pay the bills—and it can be great: you've had the hottest sex of your life; you get that plum job; you muster the courage to write your novel. Sugar—the once-anonymous online columnist at The Rumpus, now revealed as Cheryl Strayed, author of the bestselling memoir Wild—is the person thousands turn to for advice.
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Excerpts-
  • From the book

    From the INTRODUCTION by Steve Almond


    I Was Sugar Once: Lessons in Radical Empathy


    Long ago, before there was a Sugar, there was Stephen Elliott. He had this idea for a website, which sounds pretty awful, I admit, except that his idea was really to build an online community around literature, called The Rumpus. Being a writer himself, and therefore impoverished, Stephen prevailed upon his likewise impoverished writer friends to help.

    And we, his friends, all said yes, because we love Stephen and because (if I may speak for the group) we were all desperate for a noble-seeming distraction. My contribution was an advice column, which I suggested we call Dear Sugar Butt, after the endearment Stephen and I had taken to using in our email correspondence. I will not belabor the goofy homoeroticism that would lead to such an endearment. It will be enough to note that Dear Sugar Butt was shortened, mercifully, to Dear Sugar.

    Handing yourself a job as an advice columnist is a pretty arrogant thing to do, which is par for my particular course. But I justified it by supposing that I could create a different sort of advice column, both irreverent and brutally honest. The design flaw was that I conceived of Sugar as a persona, a woman with a troubled past and a slightly reckless tongue.

    And while there were moments when she felt real to me, when I could feel myself locking into the pain of my correspondents, more often I faked it, making do with wit where my heart failed me. After a year of dashing off columns, I quit.

    And that might have been the end of Sugar had I not, around this time, come across a nonfiction piece by Cheryl Strayed. I knew Cheryl as the author of a gorgeous and wrenching novel called Torch. But reading this essay, a searing recollection of infidelity and mourning, filled me with a tingling hunch. I wrote to ask if she wanted to take over as Sugar.

    It was an insane request. Like me, Cheryl had two small kids at home, a mountain of debt, and no regular academic gig. The last thing she needed was an online advice column for which she would be paid nothing. Of course, I did have an ace in the hole: Cheryl had written the one and only fan letter I'd received as Sugar.



  • The column that launched Sugar as a phenomenon was writ- ten in response to what would have been, for anyone else, a throwaway letter. Dear Sugar, wrote a presumably young man. WTF, WTF, WTF? I'm asking this question as it applies to everything every day. Cheryl's reply began as follows:


    Dear WTF,

    My father's father made me jack him off when I was three and four and five. I wasn't any good at it. My hands were too small and I couldn't get the rhythm right and I didn't understand what I was doing. I only knew I didn't want to do it. Knew that it made me feel miserable and anxious in a way so sickeningly particular that I can feel that same particular sickness rising this very minute in my throat.


    It was an absolutely unprecedented moment. Advice columnists, after all, adhere to an unspoken code: focus on the letter writer, dispense the necessary bromides, make it all seem bearable. Disclosing your own sexual assault is not part of the code.

    But Cheryl wasn't just trying to shock some callow kid into greater compassion. She was announcing the nature of her mission as Sugar. Inexplicable sorrows await all of us. That was her essential point. Life isn't some narcissistic game you play online. It all matters--every sin, every regret, every affliction. As proof, she offered an account of her own struggle to reckon with a...
About the Author-
  • CHERYL STRAYED is the author of the #1 New York Times best seller Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail, which was the first selection for Oprah's Book Club 2.0 and became an Oscar-nominated film starring Reese Witherspoon;Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar, a national best seller now the basis of the WBUR podcast Dear Sugar Radio, co-hosted with Steve Almond; and Torch, her debut novel. Her books have been translated into forty languages, and her essays and other writings have appeared in numerous publications.
Reviews-
  • Publisher's Weekly

    Starred review from May 14, 2012
    Strayed (Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Coast Trail), in this collection of advice (some previously unpublished) for readers of her column “Dear Sugar” on therumpus.net, chooses thought-provoking questions from her readers and listens deeply to their emotional content. In casually intimate prose (to a struggling writer: “dear sweet arrogant beautiful crazy tortured talented rising star glowbug”) and literary grace, she creates moments of wise, compassionate insight in often startlingly personal miniature memoirs, cradling gentle but practical guidance with enough humor to cement Strayed’s presence as both a mentor and the most understanding of friends. Sugar can be tough and honest (to the same struggling writer: “buried beneath all the anxiety and sorrow and fear and self-loathing , there’s arrogance at its core”), but she’s never mean: in Sugar’s world, we all deserve love unconditionally, but also owe it to ourselves to act in the world to be the best, most authentic selves that we can be. For a regrounding in the beauty of what it means to be flawed and gorgeously human, for answers that feel real whether we’ve been able to ask the right question, Strayed’s caring little essays offer surprisingly rich comfort. Agent: Zachary Shuster Harnsworth Agency.

  • Kirkus

    May 1, 2012
    Strayed (Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail, 2012, etc.) offers insight into the world of online advice through her collection of letters sent to "Dear Sugar," her once-anonymous column for the online magazine The Rumpus. Sugar's Golden Rule--"Trust Yourself"--pushes the author and her readers to embrace themselves and not be afraid of asking life's complex questions. Strayed writes that she will "answer anything, so long as it interests or challenges or touches me." Men and women of all ages contact her hoping she can solve their problems, which include affairs, the loss of a loved one, self-acceptance and understanding the point of existence. In thematic sections, the author presents verbatim letters and their detailed published replies. Strayed's practical advice mixes with abundant personal anecdotes in which she illustrates to the addressee the reasoning behind her counsel. Admittedly not versed in psychology, her responses are sensitive and comprehensive, and her verbose self-reflection projects understanding and sympathy. Though she avoids medical jargon, Strayed suggests medical counseling when it is necessary. The author demonstrates her forthright personality in a comforting yet stern writing style that connects readers to each contributor's plight and the subsequent response to their cry for help. Appealing to Dear Sugar fans and self-help seekers alike, this "collection of intimate exchanges between strangers" demonstrates that wisdom doesn't come only from age, but also from learning from the experiences of others. A realistic and poignant compilation of the intricacies of relationships.

    COPYRIGHT(2012) Kirkus Reviews, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

  • Library Journal

    Starred review from May 15, 2012

    This beloved Internet advice columnist, using the pseudonym Sugar, revealed herself in early 2012 to be the acclaimed novelist and memoirist Strayed (Wild). First appearing on The Rumpus (therumpus.net) in 2010, her column "Dear Sugar" quickly attracted a large and devoted following with its cut-to-the-quick aphorisms like "Write like a motherfucker" and "Be brave enough to break your own heart." This collection gathers up the best of Sugar, whose trademark is deeply felt and frank responses grounded in her own personal experience. In many ways, it is a portrait of Strayed herself: she describes her estranged father, her passionate but doomed first marriage, her relationship with her current husband (Mr. Sugar), and, most thoroughly, her much-missed mother, who died suddenly while Strayed was in college. She answers queries on subjects ranging from professional jealousy to leaving a loved partner to coping with the death of a child to a (not-so) simple "WTF?" VERDICT Part advice, part personal essay, these pieces grapple with life's biggest questions. Beautifully written and genuinely wise, this book is full of heartache and love. Highly recommended.--Molly McArdle, Library Journal

    Copyright 2012 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

  • Leigh Newman, Oprah.com "Penning an advice column for the literary website The Rumpus, [Strayed] worked anonymously, using the pen name Sugar, replying to letters from readings suffering everything from loveless marriages to abusive, drug-addicted brothers to disfiguring illnesses. The result: intimate, in-depth essays that not only took the letter writer's life into account but also Strayed's. Collected in a book, they make for riveting, emotionally charged reading (translation: be prepared to bawl) that leaves you significantly wiser for the experience. . . . Moving. . . . compassionate."
  • Nora Krug, The Washington Post "A fascinating blend of memoir and self-help. Strayed is an eloquent storyteller, and her clear-eyed prose offers a bracing empathy absent from most self-help blather."
  • Anna Holmes, New York Times Book Review "Strayed's worldview--her empathy, her nonjudgment, her belief in the fundamental logic of people's emotions and experiences despite occasional evidence to the contrary--begins to seep into readers' consciousness in such a way that they can apply her generosity of spirit to their own and, for a few hours at least, become better people. . . . The book's disclosures--on the part of both the writer and her correspondents--is ultimately courageous and engaging stuff."
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